Monkey House Made of Glass

In tribute to Santino, the 31-year-old chimp whose apparent ability to “plan ahead” recently became a topic of discussion in cognitive science circles, I’ve included below a few tasty morsels of monkey media.

Here’s the back story: As an exhibit at Sweden’s Furuvik Zoo, Santino had tired of his human voyeurs, whom he assaulted with rocks. What’s salient, however, is that Santino would stockpile his arsenal before the attacks. According to the Guardian UK, this act requires considerable cognitive skills because it requires an animal to envisage future events with which it will later have to deal.

Zoologists uncovered hundreds of caches of stones prepared by Santino, suggesting a veritable arms race against the damn dirty humans. Moreover, the chimp appreciated the lethality of stones (some of which he would fashion from concrete pried from the floor of his pen) versus the improvised weaponry more often tossed by his primate brethren, such as shit.

“Forward planning like this is supposed to be uniquely human; it implies a consciousness that is very special, that you can close your eyes, you can see this inner world,” remarked cognitive scientist Mathias Osvath, who authored a study on Santino and his warring ways. “We are not alone in the world within. There are other creatures who have this special consciousness that is said to be uniquely human.”

And what did Santino’s human captors do with their “special consciousness” in anticipation of another simian assault from Santino? In a move analogous to that perpetrated against Randall Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, they put the monkey under the knife, but instead of a lobotomy, they went right for the, um, stones. Cogito ergo castrato.

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The Words, Words, Words sketch from playwright David Ives’ All in the Timing features three research monkeys tasked with writing Hamlet as per the infinite monkey theorem. Here’s a serviceable performance YouTubed by Shawn Amaro.

This American Life, Episode 350, Human Resources, Act Three, Almost Human Resources, [43:28] Reporter Charles Siebert talks with Ira Glass about retirement homes for chimpanzees, which he studied for his upcoming tome Humanzee.

An All Things Considered interview with James Lever, author of Me, Cheeta: My Life in Hollywood, published by HarperCollins Publishers.

Monkey’s Nephew, a short film I made in honor of our closest relatives.

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One response to “Monkey House Made of Glass”

  1. RT @DaedalusHowell Monkey House Made of Glass http://tinyurl.com/anra3y A tribute to Santino.

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