Among the movie titles most relevant to Sonomans, one is repeated most Sunday mornings. No, it’s not “Bottleshock” or “Wino, The Daedalus Howell Story.” It’s “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Though it’s alleged sequel, “Seriously, Dude, Where’s My Car?” never made it to Sonoma Cinemas, one of its stars, comedian Hal Sparks, will at least make it as far as Jacuzzi Family Vineyards as part of Mutineer Magazine Holiday Comedy Festival this Saturday.
The magazine, billed as a “millennial-run” publication (kids say the darnedest things) is staging what 27-year-old editor-in-chief Alan Kropf calls a “total aesthetic takeover” of Jacuzzi. In blue. This means there will be a blue (not red) carpet and other azure accents throughout, intended to honor the water relief program overseen by the international children’s organization, A Child’s Right, which the festival will benefit. Even those who’ve aged out of Mutineers’ millennial employment pool (ageist bastards) can agree that the cause is a good one and that, frankly, Jacuzzi could use some color.
Among the talent on hand for the Saturday festival is Jonathan Goldsmith, perhaps best known for his portrayal of “The Most Interesting Man in the World” in the lauded advertising campaign for Dos Equis beer. Why local multiple-personality artiste George Webber hasn’t plucked a page from Goldsmith’s playbook and marketed himself as the “The Most Interesting Man in Sonoma” has led to much newsroom conjecture and I submit that, in a cage fight, the smart money’s on Webber.
Besides Sparks, other comedians include Natasha Leggero (as seen in NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” Comedy Central’s “Reno 911” and “Ugly Americans”) and Ben Morrison, who is best known as Ashton Kutcher’s celebrity-pranking sidekick on MTV’s “Punk’d.” My question is, where’s native Sonoma-son Brian Posehn, a star of the “Sarah Silverman Program” and a stand-up par excellence? In a cage match, he’d pummel Webber but even George would be laughing about it.
Inspiring, isn’t it? All of this hipster-magazine-do-gooding has me in mind to start a Sonoma-centric drinking rag with its own yuk-fest and charity tie-in. In keeping with the model established by Mutineer, we’ll need a snappy name with conceptually vague intimations of revolt that’s at once familiar but rarely uttered for fear of sounding, like, 19th century.
However, our name must also lack the vim and verve of “Mutineer” so as not to misrepresent its core demo – those pushing 40, those who pushed through 40 and those so beyond 40 they’re pushing it.
Call it The Sonoma Contrarian, part boozy monograph, part Sonoma booster club (if that’s not too redundant). Our covers will feature notable Sonomans (I swear they’re out there) glowering into the camera lens as if to say “Um, yeah, no.”
It’ll be rife with contrarian-themed articles with headlines like, “10 Things You Should Be Doing But Won’t” and “You’re Wrong, I’m Right, Unless You Think I’m Right in Which Case You’re Wrong.”
It will brim with photos of almost-beautiful people (us) guzzling wine at events that were so exclusive we neglected to even put our own names on guest list and added most others “minus one.”
As for our charitable giving, we will donate our bodies to science because it’s the right thing not to do, especially at a comedy festival.
That said, our comedy fest would feature tragedians whose feats of emotional degradation we will come to laugh at only later because comedy is tragedy plus time. These are things you learn after you’ve been running for a couple of millennia.
The Mutineer Magazine Holiday Comedy Festival at commences at 8:15 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 11, at Jacuzzi Family Vineyards, 24724 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. A fine beverage tasting precedes at 7 p.m.
Tickets are $35 and are available online at mutineermagazine.com/comedy.