A few years ago, Brand Autopsy’s John Moore blogged The Ten Winning Ways of Whole Foods Market in the competitive grocery market, um, market. Point No. 4 was dubbed ?Food as Theater,? in which Moore observed, ??WFM celebrates food like it is a theatrical production.? This simile is especially evident in the wine aisle here in Sonoma, CA, which, thanks to a recent corporate mandate to produce handwritten wine and food pairing suggestions for every bottle on every shelf, is an ensemble cast replete with one-liners.

It’s as if Ionesco tagged up the bottles up with post-its. Many of the suggested pairings teeter on theater of the absurd ? sure, a 2005 Mayo Family Winery zinfandel and a ?pulled chicken sandwich,? stands for reason ? but the notion of pairing a wine with ?a visit from your father? is a wonderfully abstract. Of course, the suggested pairing for the 2007 Folie a Deux ?Menage a Trois? California Red Wine is a favorite. The card simply reads ?Try with two of your friends.? It’s particularly resonant since the winery’s name literally means ?a madness shared by two? in French (love those guys), hence the pun of the wine’s title and the inevitable pairing.? The store’s public relations liaison credits the pairing to wine specialist Kerri Cook and specialty team leader Ian Sharpe (yes, I cared enough to call).? My suggested toast for their suggested pairing: ?Bottoms up!? What, too cheeky?