With apologies to systems theorists, the term “emergence” essentially describes what occurs when a phenomenon becomes greater than the sum of its parts. The mud “cathedrals” erected by termite colonies like a mass of primitive Gaudis, are an oft-cited example from nature. Individual agents operate in a given environment, who then begin to form more complex behaviors as a collective, resulting in large-scale results – like hurricanes, or a plummeting stock market. A local and, dare I say, more sinister example of emergence is the recent partnering of VinSpinPR founder Mick Robbins (charlatan) and animal rights “hacktivist” Paul-Henri Moreau (bottomless stomach), whereby one idiot plus another idiot makes for an infinite amount of idiocy. If only this perpetual-stupid machine could generate something other than the e-mail they’ve been cramming into my inbox like a gavage of spam.
Consider the recent missive from Moreau, on behalf of Robbins, threatening a libel suit. In his defense of Robbins’ acumen as a public relations professional, Moreau, in English written so poorly I’d assume he was illiterate had I not known he was Quebecois (the “true France,” he has been known to crow when it’s been discovered he is more cranko than Franco), claims that his professional union with Robbins “is a fine Sonoma pairing – like a Casey Hill Cellars mourvedre and a cassoulet of hamster, preferably one lardered in a classroom.”
Another letter, this one from Robbins on behalf of Moreau, also threatens to sue for libel over an item I published last month regarding Moreau’s attempt to overfeed the ducks in the historic Sonoma Plaza duck pond so as to fatten their livers. That each decided to represent the other in their bogus libel suits (guys, it’s not libel if it’s true) is akin to pouring wine from a Klein bottle.
Speaking of bottles, yet another delivery included an empty wine bottle with a hand-scrawled note that read, “This is the wine we were going to send you for review, but we drank it instead.” Ooh, the heartache, gentlemen. I won’t embarrass the client whose wine they wouldn’t deign to send to me, but I will say they had peeled your label from another bottle and affixed it to a lesser brand before drinking its contents. It’s unclear as to whom they intended this masterful switcheroo to fool (themselves?). We at least know this is yet another brushstroke on a beguiling portrait of ineptitude.
But wait, there’s more: In his missive defending the moral character and dietary habits of Moreau (a man who eats pets and was recently escorted from an area pet shop for salivating over the pinky mice), the self-described “public relationalist” digresses into a rant defaming his former mentee Neville Minor, who left VinSpinPR last year to start his own PR firm, Sonomaganda. Robbins claims he invented the concept of “public relationalism” and that Minor stole it from him. Sure. What causes me to marvel, is that when I looked up Sonomaganda, I found that Minor does indeed bill himself as a “public relationalist.” “Relationalism,” of course, is the sprig of philosophy that explores the nature of space and time – not media relations. Minor, I offer you a question from Ben Kenobi “Who’s the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?”
Attention, Robbins and Moreau – since you decided to engage in your moronic battle of words and wit in the public sphere (and anything that crosses my desk is fair game in this regard), I should warn you that I’m something of a semantic sadist. Further, as those who have seen me near tequila can attest, I’m the devil. Gentlemen, I await your response.
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With apologies to systems theorists, the term “emergence” essentially describes what occurs when a phenomenon becomes greater than the sum of its parts. The mud “cathedrals” erected by termite colonies like a mass of primitive Gaudis, are an oft-cited example from nature. Individual agents operate in a given environment, who then begin to form more complex behaviors as a collective, resulting in large-scale results – like hurricanes, or a plummeting stock market. A local and, dare I say, more sinister example of emergence is the recent partnering of VinSpinPR founder Mick Robbins (charlatan) and animal rights “hacktivist” Paul-Henri Moreau (bottomless stomach), whereby one idiot plus another idiot makes for an infinite amount of idiocy. If only this perpetual-stupid machine could generate something other than the e-mail they’ve been cramming into my inbox like a gavage of spam.
Consider the recent missive from Moreau, on behalf of Robbins, threatening a libel suit. In his defense of Robbins’ acumen as a public relations professional, Moreau, in English written so poorly I’d assume he was illiterate had I not known he was Quebecois (the “true France,” he has been known to crow when it’s been discovered he is more cranko than Franco), claims that his professional union with Robbins “is a fine Sonoma pairing – like a Casey Hill Cellars mourvedre and a cassoulet of hamster, preferably one lardered in a classroom.”
Another letter, this one from Robbins on behalf of Moreau, also threatens to sue for libel over an item I published last month regarding Moreau’s attempt to overfeed the ducks in the historic Sonoma Plaza duck pond so as to fatten their livers. That each decided to represent the other in their bogus libel suits (guys, it’s not libel if it’s true) is akin to pouring wine from a Klein bottle.
Speaking of bottles, yet another delivery included an empty wine bottle with a hand-scrawled note that read, “This is the wine we were going to send you for review, but we drank it instead.” Ooh, the heartache, gentlemen. I won’t embarrass the client whose wine they wouldn’t deign to send to me, but I will say they had peeled your label from another bottle and affixed it to a lesser brand before drinking its contents. It’s unclear as to whom they intended this masterful switcheroo to fool (themselves?). We at least know this is yet another brushstroke on a beguiling portrait of ineptitude.
But wait, there’s more: In his missive defending the moral character and dietary habits of Moreau (a man who eats pets and was recently escorted from an area pet shop for salivating over the pinky mice), the self-described “public relationalist” digresses into a rant defaming his former mentee Neville Minor, who left VinSpinPR last year to start his own PR firm, Sonomaganda. Robbins claims he invented the concept of “public relationalism” and that Minor stole it from him. Sure. What causes me to marvel, is that when I looked up Sonomaganda, I found that Minor does indeed bill himself as a “public relationalist.” “Relationalism,” of course, is the sprig of philosophy that explores the nature of space and time – not media relations. Minor, I offer you a question from Ben Kenobi “Who’s the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?”
Attention, Robbins and Moreau – since you decided to engage in your moronic battle of words and wit in the public sphere (and anything that crosses my desk is fair game in this regard), I should warn you that I’m something of a semantic sadist. Further, as those who have seen me near tequila can attest, I’m the devil. Gentlemen, I await your response.
Related posts: